Posts in Self
Time to rest

From the early days of my daughter’s life, the need to perfect her sleep has been very high on my priority list, but not just for wanting to control potentially ‘bad’ sleeping habits. Mostly, for the desire to be able to continue on with other aspects of life while she sleeps- housework, business, sleep, even basic care like showering and peeing. And the fact that (particularly the days) have been nothing short of a broken record of catnaps, crying, and bouts of only sleeping on me, has left me frustrated and frazzled that nothing else has been done around me. 

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Self, ALLFelicity Cook
Feeling female

The mum bun. A staple in every mother’s daily life. Add to that greasy hair, the same clothes every day (or pjs day and night), neglected nail polish and probably hair in places that you just can’t be arsed getting rid of. I’m pretty sure every single mum is nodding in understanding right now. It’s like a signature look.

But some days, I look in the mirror and think, who the hell is that? And I realise how much of a difference it makes when I make an effort to look after myself. When I take the time- and the right- to feel female.

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Self, Most Popular, ALLFelicity Cook
Enjoying motherhood

It wasn't until I realised that I was, that I realised I hadn't been. All of a sudden one morning, as I sat with Tilly, watching her smile and grab at my face, I discovered that I was enjoying motherhood. And in that second, realised that before that moment, I had simply been doing a 'job'. It took me 10 weeks to finally find motherhood a joy.

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Self, ALL, Most PopularFelicity Cook
Feeling alone

One of the clearest memories I have of those first days post-baby is sitting on the lounge at home, a day or so after we left the hospital. There were a few people there- #thelove and my mum and his mum, perhaps a couple of others, I can’t remember. I had Tilly in my arms, and she was unsettled, and I remember realizing that, despite being surrounded by people, I was completely alone. 

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Too much love

You hear it all the time, that the birth of a child brings you a love you've never known before. It's hard to comprehend if you don't have children- and I know I certainly could only imagine it, if not understand it or experience it.

I felt a weird disconnection to myself the day Tilly was born. As this tiny human was coming out into the world, I felt myself almost looking at the situation as if being another person in the room. It seemed so surreal that there was a real live baby, that it was mine, that I was actually giving birth to her. I've dreamt of having children all my life, but was it really real?

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Self, ALLFelicity Cook
The need for PERFECTION

The desire to be perfect has long been my greatest hurdle in life. From a young girl, I had this indescribable need for everything to be a certain way, and I fell down hard whenever things didn't live up to the expectations in my mind. It's proven to be both a blessing and a curse, but as a parent, it is most definitely proving to be a curse.

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Self, ALLFelicity Cook