Fear Of Missing Out. We live in a society that's rife with this phenomenon, and being in babyland, we're certainly not escaping it here. If it's not me wishing I was able to get out and about and rediscover life as an adult again, it's a certain tiny person wanting to check out the party every moment of every day and night (I hate to break it to you kid, but you're really not missing out on anything. Mum and dad are too tired for any parties right now- we're boring as batsh*t!).
Babies truly do have FOMO. I mean, I get it, it’s all brand new to them, there’s so much to see and do and learn and discover, but holy cow, 5am is not the time to be prepping for an adventure. The sun isn’t even up then, so why are you?!
But I found that it’s been my own fear of missing out which has thrown me. I guess it’s all a part of that losing and rediscovering the new me, but it’s amazing how much of the outside world becomes out of reach in the early days of Baby.
For me, it’s been both social and business FOMO. I see my non-child friends, and even friends with older children, out and about and experiencing life. Even just dinner and drinks or a weekend away, while I perceive myself being stuck in the Groundhog Day of new babyness.
But the biggest surprise has been my FOMO with business, and my creativity. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the break I’m taking to settle into life as a mum, but when I started realizing that while I had stopped, everyone else was continuing on, I suddenly felt left behind. Which is not a feeling anyone likes to feel, especially when they’ve worked hard to get somewhere!
I see people creating beautiful things, attending events, branching out into new arenas, growing their audiences, and I see myself, burping a tiny person, changing yet another poopy nappy, unable to take a moment for myself, let alone to sit down and put my brain to work, and I truly felt that FOMO.
So is it okay to feel that way? Even though you may have dreamed, planned, and waited for the day that Baby was in your arms, the fact that life becomes completely unlike anything you’ve known before takes some getting used to. I don’t know if I also find it harder because I work from home, so it seems natural to me to just pop into my office and work on new projects- except that my office doesn’t exist right now, and the house is full of baby stuff, so there’s nowhere to do anything anyway!
It is a huge adjustment to make. Even the most maternal of women need to adapt to the change- and while your priorities and goals may change, it can be hard to not miss the rest of the world.
Of course, I know it’s not forever. Even now, as I become more confident with Tilly, and with myself as a mother, I am venturing out more and more into the world. True, it’s not the same as before (although I’ve never really been a party girl, a such), and until we can get Tilly to also take a bottle sometimes (no success with that yet!) my boobs are at her beck and call, but it will become easier and more accessible to return to both the outside social world, and my own creative world.
And to be honest, I love my pjs, so not having to get dressed up- and having a legitimate excuse to not do so- is pretty awesome!